Interrupt as many people as possible!Interrupt- You identified your target it is time to interrupt. Everyone lives in their own world. Especially now with cell phones and MP3 players. As I am doing this I am in a park in my own world. Anyone that approaches me has to break my concentration and break into my world. The thing is that you don’t want to break and enter you want to invite yourself in.

It’s as if a good friend of yours that you like calls you up and invites themselves over to your house. I don’t know about you but I don’t mind if someone I like invites themselves over as long as it is not terribly inconvenient and they don’t over stay their welcome. So those are the same principles you are going to use when approaching someone. You want to be friendly and likable (that means good grooming) and not over stay your welcome. So before you even begin to talk, you should be subtly mirroring the persons behavior if you actively mirror someone physiology you can get a glimpse of how they are feeling. You can start getting into their world. For more on mirroring check out Antony Robbins book Unlimited Power, Mirroring is a rapport building skill big in NLP. A word of advise be subtle not creepy. A great way to start is by matching their breathing. Not by staring at their chest that is terribly inappropriate especially for a guy. Glance at their shoulders and belly with practice you just pick it up naturally. If for some reason you are not subtle enough it is just a great way to start your conversation. You can start your relationship on a lie. “Oh I am sorry, you just look very familiar.”


Once you have mirrored the person for 30 sec or so. You can approach them. Do not approach someone straight on it feels somewhat uncomfortable. Approach them form an angle where they can see you but it is not to direct. Depending on how focused they are this might get their attention. Now it is time to start a conversation. I find that “Hi” or “Hey” work very well in most circumstances. When using “Hi” you should have eye contact. So “hey” can be more versatile. That is the same way I view my interruption I am figuring out how to invite myself into their world for a short period of time

A good interruption would be to smile and say “Hey I only got a second, I just wanted to tell that I like the fact that you are smiling.” Sometimes these days you might have to say Hey and pause to see if they heard you or if they are entranced in a song on their ipod.

I am sure I don’t have to say this but for thoroughness- If they are on the cell phone obviously don’t interrupt it’s rude and they are not going want to talk to you.(it is under the terribly inconvenient heading)


Ok I used this example because it suits a lot of what I look for. I search for people that are smiling, happy, friendly looking. Sometimes you might get the same friendly vibe from someone that is not smiling they might just be in a funk. That is an excellent opportunity. Some basic rules;


  1. Smile, be friendly.
  2. Be well groomed.
  3. Think of how you would like to be approached.
  4. Make sure you state that you are not going to take to much of their time- remember you don’t want to overstay your welcome and everyone is busy.
  5. This is not the time to rehearse. Don’t over analyze what you are going to say. This is the time for action. There are no scripts just general rules go with the conversation.
  6. Find something you can help them with that is not considered unwanted advise.

With this in mind the next thing to do is just to go out there and practice. I will be doing the same thing over the next couple of days I will inform you how it works out. I understand that most of us know this information. I am hoping that by breaking it down that you will be to build enough courage to “just do it”! There is a difference between knowing and doing. As I have said before you need to BE the person that will meet people effortlessly and the way you do that is through baby steps. Take the first step meet someone today. Meet two people tomorrow. Three the next day. You need to make it a goal. Until it becomes a habit.

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